Your smile, the trembling of my heart,
Your touch, the creeping of my skin,
Why do I cry when I’m not hurt?
Why do I rejoice in my own sin?
Rainbows, morning dew, raindrops,
Tears, broken hearts, lost dreams,
Why can’t I open when bliss knocks?
Why do I only hear my heart’s screams?
I lost love once, lost my own faith,
I hide, Scared of being once more broken,
Although my soul longed for some wealth,
And my head buzzed with words unspoken.
Is this how death feels like to me?
Am I alive, am I in the land of the living?
How do I move on and let me be
When it hurts even with my own breathing.
Heaven have mercy, I want to cry,
If it might even give slight relief,
I can’t find peace, and God! I try,
My strength leaks beyond all belief.
Be here with me now, make me melt,
Clear this doubt and the clouds I hold,
The fear of emotions I once felt,
Smile, allow me to feel bold.
Are you real, or just a strong illusion?
With that strong, mightily assuring presence,
Are you in my life or my mind’s creation?
I cower at the thought of your absence.
Help me to be born and live afresh,
Break my will, my being, my bones,
Make me alive, mold the feel of my flesh,
Give me peaches, strength, love of stones.
I get so scared, but sometimes happy,
You give me all, you ask for nothing,
So I’m content, but also shamelessly sappy,
That I have you, I won’t ask for more of anything.